dilluns, 6 de maig del 2019

Between The Rock and Vin Diesel is a very hard place by Marina Hyde


I have been feeling that I have been improving my English, but this article from Marina Hyde has returned me to the sad reality. Her magnificent style is combined with expressions that a poor English learner like me find extremely difficult. To make it worse, I’ve no idea about Fast & Furious, The Rock and all this stuff…


Between The Rock and Vin Diesel is a very hard place
The world of Fast and Furious is a deeply serious one, if the social media outpourings of its stars is anything to go by

Marina Hyde @MarinaHyde Thu 2 May 2019 17.23 BST Last modified on Thu 2 May 2019 17.45 BST

It is never without pleasure that this column turns to the Fast and Furious film franchise, which shits money like there’s no tomorrow and takes itself just as seriously as you would hope. Frankly, it has to, if it wants to continue to make important movies about muscle cars, the families we choose and the families we lose, and what it might feel like to jump from one Dubai skyscraper to another in a Lykan Hypersport.

Not so long ago it was franchise star The Rock letting us into his process, posting a picture of the table in his trailer. “Secret weapon,” the former wrestling legend revealed. “Many productive meetings and big business deals have been sealed with a handshake at my GSD (Get Shit Done) table that’s inside my trailer. This table holds a lot of great mana (spirit/power) and energy. And if these wood slabs could talk … well, it’s best they can’t talk for national security purposes.”

This was too much for his co-star Tyrese Gibson, who shot back at The Rock: “If you move forward with that #Hobbs movie you will have purposely ignored the heart-to-heart moment we had in my sprinter. I don’t wanna hear from you until you remember what we talked about. I’m on your timeline cause you’re not responding to my text messages. #FastFamily is just that a family … We don’t fly solo.”

Alas, it turns out that we do, as The Rock has indeed been spun off into a distant galaxy in the Furiousverse to make Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw. Thus it falls to Fast and Furious big daddy Vin Diesel to make the next move. Diesel – formerly dissed as a “candy-ass” by The Rock – has duly taken to his Instagram with a gym-based video. According to Vin, someone has been sent to him as a Fast co-star by the spirit of the late Fast and Furious star Paul Walker (whom he calls Pablo). “Guys as you know I’m always thinking fast,” he begins. “And thinking about the responsibility. I’m thinking something iconic and deserving of your loyalty. I know this sounds crazy, but every blue moon I feel like Pablo up there sends me someone. Another soldier for the fight for truth.” Wait, are we still talking about the car franchise? Yes. Yes, I think we are. “And today, someone came by … that speaks to what Pablo would have brought me.” And with that, Diesel reveals former wrestling legend – and major Rock rival – John Cena.

Well. Could there BE any more angles? History suggests the answer to that is yes, and we must duly wait for The Rock’s super-chilled passive-aggressive response.


Courtesy of Guardian News & Media Ltd.


Expressions:
It is never without pleasure
…which shits money like there’s no tomorrow

Vocabulary
Get shit done: Things you have done. Your GSD table is your work place table.
Wood slabs: It refers a wood table made by slice tree logs (mesa de listones)
Hobbs movie: Hobbs is a character of Fast & Furious universe.
Heart-to-heart: A heart-to-heart is a conversation between two people, especially close friends, in which they talk freely about their feelings or personal problems.
Sprinter: The Mercedes-Benz Sprinter is a van.
To timeline: To inform someone that what they just referenced/presented/discovered and showed others as something new and awesome is in fact older than crap.
Alas: / əlæs / Used to express sadness or feeling sorry about something: I love football but, alas, I have no talent as a player.
Spun off: Is the past participle of spin off: spin | spun | spun. To spin off something is also to form a separate company from parts of an existing company. It’s very common in the series world.
Thus it falls to: So it’s time to
Candy-ass: A person who is not brave; a timid or cowardly person; wimp
Duly: Properly
Every blue moon: The same than “once in a blue moon” it’s to say rarely.

Related words
Hart: / hɑːʳt/ vs Earth: /ɜːʳθ/
By hart: If you know something such as a poem by heart, you have learned it so well that you can remember it without having to read it.

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