‘Do I look pretty?’ by Emma Brockes

‘Do I look pretty?’ is my daughters’ favourite question and it’s worrying me

Emma Brockes

Too many pre-teen girls are anxious about how they look. Fairytale princesses with tiny waists don’t help

 @emmabrockes

Thu 10 Jan 2019 18.23 GMT

Waist: Your waist is the middle part of your body where it narrows slightly above your hips.(cintura)

As I do most years, I watched the Golden Globes red carpet show last week. I like red carpet shows. Among other things, I like the parade of pretty frocks and the awkwardness of one group of adults milling around shouting the names of another group of adults nearby. This year, however, the entertainment was impaired by the sense that – as the parenting manuals like to say – I was showcasing bad behaviour for my daughters. Along with “can I have a treat?” and “when is it going to be my birthday?”, the question “do I look pretty?” now comes up regularly in my house – and the attraction of the rote answer, “yes”, has started to pall.

Frock: A frock is a woman's or girl's dress

Awkwardness: An awkward situation is embarrassing and difficult to deal with.

Mill around: When a crowd of people mill around or mill about, they move around within a particular place or area, so that the movement of the whole crowd looks very confused.

Showcasing: To exhibit or display

Can I have a treat?: Can I have a party? If you give someone a treat, you buy or arrange something special for them which they will enjoy.

Rote answer: A habitual or mechanical routine or procedure

Pall: If something palls, it becomes less interesting or less enjoyable after a period of time.

I can’t put all the blame on the Disney princesses, although God knows they don’t help. The present generation of animated heroines have been given “feisty” attitudes and desires beyond marriage, but, with the exception of Moana, they still have tiny waists, tinier noses and, in the case of Elsa from Frozen, an amazing Dolly Parton chest that busts out at the climax of Let It Go, to the ongoing amazement of her four-year-old fans.

Blame: Responsibility, culpability

Feisty: Fiery, spirited, active, bold, energetic, aggressive

Bold ( boʊld ): Brave

Bald (bɔːld ): Someone who is bald has little or no hair on the top of their head.

Bust out: To take (something) from the place where it is stored so that it can be used; to break out. He busted out the champagne. I imagine it’s a pun with the bust sense as a noun: You can use bust to refer to a woman's breasts, especially when you are describing their size.

Let It Go: A song from Frozen’s movie

Ongoing: An ongoing situation has been happening for quite a long time and seems likely to continue for some time in the future.

Amazement: Amazement is the feeling you have when something surprises you very much.

Recently, out of curiosity, I flipped to a page in People magazine and asked one of my daughters who was prettier: a glamorous woman in her 50s or a glamorous woman in her 20s. Without knowing who they were, the age gap was almost imperceptible, but she glanced down and pointed effortlessly to the younger woman. I tried this several times and both daughters always called the “right” answer.

Glance: If you glance at something or someone, you look at them very quickly and then look away again immediately.

Gaze: If you gaze at someone or something, you look steadily at them for a long time, for example because you find them attractive or interesting, or because you are thinking about something else.

·         About other words related with eyes: http://www.saberingles.com.ar/ways/01.html

Effortlessly: Something that is effortless is done easily and well.

None of this is news. But to see the bias in action, and to hear myself consolidate it by saying, as I do without thinking, “you look so pretty” has been sobering. In a UK study undertaken by the Girl Guides last year, more than a third of seven to 10-year-old girls said they were made to feel the way they looked was more important than anything else. In the US, the journal Science published a paper in which the question “is my daughter overweight?” was googled 70% more often than the question “is my son overweight?”

News: Note the uncountable noun; so it refers to information, not to something original. The verb is singular.

Uncountable nouns have no plural and always use a singular verb. But, 'news' is a noun that is uncountable AND ends in an 's', which can lead many learners to use the wrong verb form. Here are some more examples: school subjects, such as mathematics, gymnastics and physics; Games, such as dominos and darts and the disease: measles (xarampió, sarampión)

'Mathematics is a hard subject'

'What does measles do?'

'Dominos has been around for almost a thousand years'

Bias: Bias is a tendency to prefer one person or thing to another, and to favour that person or thing. Prejudice, leaning, bent, tendency 

Sobering: You say that something is a sobering thought or has a sobering effect when a situation seems serious and makes you become serious and thoughtful.

It’s not something we can opt out of, but these days I’m at least trying to check myself. “Do I look pretty?” asked my daughter the other day, to which I replied, “you look extremely kind and very clever.” She was not impressed by this. “Anyway it’s not a competition,” I said, at which point my other daughter chipped in with, “it’s important to be a good girl, right?” and I found myself hesitating. “Up to a point,” I said. She looked at me quizzically. “It’s important to do what mummy says,” I said and we all stood for a moment in baffled silence.

There is some hope. At the weekend, I took them to an event they have been begging to go to, billed as a Princess Show, which promised to introduce them to the real Elsa, Rapunzel, Moana and Ariel-from-the-Little-Mermaid. Dutifully we waited in line for the photo op and when we got to the front, they stared at the adult women in Disney costumes and wigs and both looked completely appalled. “Go on,” I said, pushing them towards the line-up. But they wouldn’t.

Wig: A wig is a covering of false hair which you wear on your head, for example because you have little hair of your own or because you want to cover up your own hair.

Appalled: If you are appalled by something, you are shocked or disgusted because it is so bad or unpleasant.

“It’s Elsa!” I said brightly, but both my children scowled. “It isn’t real,” said one of them. Now if only they can hang on to that lesson.

Scowl: When someone scowls, an angry or hostile expression appears on their face.

• Emma Brockes is a Guardian columnist based in New York