Admit it, older people – you are addicted to your phones, too

Admit it, older people – you are addicted to your phones, too

Sophia Ankel

Over-reliance on mobiles isn’t just the scourge of the young, and it has a damaging effect on families

Sat 21 Jul 2018 11.00 BST

Reliance: Dependence

Scourge: Menace

My mother likes to sit with her legs crossed on the sofa, glasses balanced on her nose, while she scrolls through her iPhone. I don’t know whether she is commenting on a friend’s family photo album, crushing candy or liking a meme with the caption: “Tonight’s forecast: 99% chance of wine”, but I do know that this is not the first time I catch her like this. My father opts for the “I’ll be with you shortly” line, which he delivers with a very serious look on his face as he aggressively taps away on his phone. I have learned by now that this is my cue to leave him alone for the next 10 minutes. As much as they don’t like admitting it, both of my parents are just as addicted to their phones as I am.

Growing up, we are constantly reminded that young people are the demographic most affected by technology. We are the “antisocial social club”, those who prefer to text our friends in the same room rather than having to make eye-contact with them. We are the “digital natives”, ruining the English language because we favour using heart-eye emojis to tell someone we fancy them, instead of spelling it out. We are “generation mute”, unable to bear phone calls because apparently the awkwardness of calling someone up is just too real. And even though I can recognise myself in some of the never-ending studies that reveal to us the extent of our social media addiction, warning us that we are slowly turning into tech-zombies, we should at least consider that it’s not only us young’uns any more.

Bear : If you can't bear someone or something, you dislike them very much.

Awkwardness: An awkward situation is embarrassing and difficult to deal with.

Young’uns: Young ones. Plural of young one.

There’s the rise of the Instagram mums, who like to post an abundance of cute baby pictures, showcasing their seemingly (and oddly) put-together lifestyles and sharing their many #momfeelings along the way. Or the surge of over-55-year-olds who are beginning to occupy and curate Facebook. They are the so-called “Facebook mum generation”, a growing group of parents that like to overshare and, in the process, are slowly pushing out young people who can’t bear to see another one of mum’s embarrassing gin-and-tonic-on-a-holiday selfies. While many millennials are slowly leaving Facebook because our timeline seems to only clog up with fake news, dog videos and repetitive memes these days, our parents might see the platform as a way of keeping up with the social lives of their old schoolmates or, paradoxically, in my mother’s case, “to see what my children are up to since phone calls have been running a bit dry”. They’re a little late to the party, but are still arriving in their droves, with Facebook expecting its largest growth of new members joining the platform in the UK to be among the over-55s users this year (a predicted 500,000, in fact).

Showcase: A showcase is a glass container with valuable objects inside it, for example at an exhibition or in a museum.

Surge: A surge is a sudden large increase in something that has previously been steady, or has only increased or developed slowly.

Curate: To be in charge of organizing, arranging, and presenting a festival or other event

Clog up: When something clogs up a place, or when it clogs up, it becomes blocked so that little or nothing can pass through.

Droves: (often plural) A moving crowd of people

And while all of this might be fine, and even a little humorous, new research suggests that parents’ technology addiction is negatively affecting their children’s behaviour. According to the study, 40% of mothers and 32% of fathers have admitted to having some sort of phone addiction. This has led to a significant fall in verbal interactions within families and even a decline in mothers encouraging their children. “Technoference” is the term used here to describe the increasing trend that sees people switching their attention away from those around them to check their phones instead – one that seems to be infiltrating far beyond friendship circles and now also into family life. And by family life, I mean not only young teens and children who are glued to their phones or tablets, but also their parents, who are now joining in on the antisocial fun. What are the consequences if we don’t deal with this? And why don’t we recognise it in the first place, when all the signs are there?

There is no denying that I get annoyed when I receive the “I’ll be with you shortly line” from a parent, when all I want to do is ask one question. But, at the same time, leaving the room to wait until my father is finished with his “serious business” (ie Farmville), has now become the norm. Whether you want to escape your pestering children for a bit, or want to stay up late flicking through Twitter, know that wanting to do all of this is normal. We – your children – know how addictive it can be and how difficult it is to switch off. But before calling us out and telling us to “put our phones away at the table” or even worse, pulling up statistics of how damaging social media can be for us, maybe lead by example and consider how much time you spend on the phone as well as how this is impacting your children and your relationship with them. Maybe in this way we can work on our addiction together.

I'll be with you shortly line: I imagine it’s in a short time…

Pestering: If you say that someone is pestering you, you mean that they keep asking you to do something, or keep talking to you, and you find this annoying.

Flicking: If you flick through a book or magazine, you turn its pages quickly, for example to get a general idea of its contents or to look for a particular item. If you flick through television channels, you continually change channels very quickly, for example using a remote control.

Sophia Ankel is a master’s student in journalism at Goldsmiths College, University of London